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Heyyo,

Fire up your steam boys! valve's trying to get ya! ;)

Quote:

Friday, April 1 2005

Quote:

An update is available for Counter-Strike: Source. The update will be applied automatically when your Steam client is restarted. This update addresses requests for more realism in Counter-Strike: Source. The changes are as follows:

Features/Additions

Doubled player speed when jumping. The effect to cumulative, so the more you jump, the faster you go.
Cut price of AWP by 50%.
Added akimbo Riot Shield to buy menu.
Removed de_dust from mapcycle.

Realism Enhancements:

Knives:
Between rounds, it is suggested that you unsheath the weapon and repeatedly press the attack key to air it out as the leather now collects moisture and creates pits on the blade, making it less effective in the next round.

Shotguns:
1. Firing the shotgun without ammo loaded will now cause it to jam.
2. When the shotgun jams, press F2 to fill out form DA-1823-00/A12-H8.
3. You should then hear a scribbling sound. When it stops, press F3 to send the request to LIDM.
4. Failure to do paperwork before pressing F3 will result in the immediate return of the unrepaired shotgun.
5. The repairs can take 1-2 rounds for completion. During that time, you cannot purchase a replacement firearm and may only use your sidearm or knife.

Player Models:
Several models now feature eyewear. This is a completely cosmetic enhancement with the following exceptions:

Part EP-7829-292-2 must be purchased and worn correctly at all times in order to see during the round.
In between rounds, you may purchase and use part EC-2231-833-H34 to clean your EP-7829-292-2. Note: that this does not clean the eyewear itself!
To clean the eyewear, you need to purchase and use the designated cleaner, EC-2231-233-H34, EC-2231-523-H34, or EC-2231-239-H34a respectively depending on your model's eyewear. You can determine the part # of the correct cleaner by asking someone.

Machine and submachine guns:

At least once every five rounds, press F1 to inspect the weapon:
A musical cue indicates that the inspection has started. Now press F1 again repeatedly to clean and lubricate the weapon.
Your Preventative Maintenance Status (either "cleaning" or "lubricating") is determined by the speed with which you press the F1 key and will be displayed above your head.
To accurately simulate real life maintenance mistakes, pressing F1 too quickly will lubricate either the bolt face or the trunnion block. Pressing F1 too slowly sprays lubricant directly into the buffer tube. All mistakes render the gun inoperable, though this may not become immediately apparent.
Experiment with keypress timing to avoid (and discover!) other common maintenance errors.
In order to balance the improved stopping power of a well-maintained weapon, the reloading process has been made much less reliable.
When reloading, you should listen for two or three distinct clicks over a period of several seconds.
If you hear one click or no clicks or more than two clicks, you've bent the link ejector chute and the gun will most likely explode on the next attempt to fire it, though it may not.

lol... if this stuff were true.. wtf eh? :P

lol, I do actualy like the part abot the shotgunn the best... I would seriously enjoy that.. like, running aroudn the battlefield, scribbling onna peice of paper.. it comes back 4 weeks later (you know? cause Canada only has the worst mail system in the world... lol..) and it turns out they send back the wrong package n' it's skin tight leather suits.. a day in the life of a CT player. :)

Re: CSS april fools

Dual riot shields would be awesome, get a team of CTs with them and form a testudo (sp?).

Re: CSS april fools

wow goto the steam forums and look at all the noobs who actaully belived it... one guy was saaying that lowering the awp price was so stupid that they might as well add hacks to the game8o

Re: CSS april fools

Quote:

Originally Posted by biohazerd87

wow goto the steam forums and look at all the noobs who actaully belived it... one guy was saaying that lowering the awp price was so stupid that they might as well add hacks to the game8o

People are so stupid nowadays... :D:P

Re: CSS april fools

actually, people where always stupid. Only a minority got smarter and unfortunatly abuses the 'majority of stupid people' to stay stupid. Instead of making them smarter... Oh well, when thinking about it, i can name atleast ONE continent with a lot of stupid people ;)... i'm sure PMB knows what i'm talking about :D

Re: CSS april fools

Quote:

Originally Posted by stefanhendriks

*jumping up and down* So can I, SO can I :D

Re: CSS april fools

let's see...

Australia ?

Re: CSS april fools

Obviously. Kangaroos suck.

Re: CSS april fools

So True. I meant america, but yeah :D

Australia is basically a continent fll of jumping rats of various sizes, sheep and beer :D

Re: CSS april fools

and obviously a bunch of nice chicks, otherwise you wouldnt still be there :D

Re: CSS april fools

what? he hasn't used them up yet ?

Re: CSS april fools

Heh lol no in austalia they have a refill service for chicks.
Once ya had em all or the most you can order a refill. Upon they change all the "had" chicks in to jumping creatures.

Re: CSS april fools

My experience is that there is stupid people everywhere. I thought the joke was hilarious, and obvious as hell. 9_9

Just as an aside: as an American that has lived all over Europe for years, who knows from first hand experience how stupid European leaders/laws/people can be at times, its kind of naive and insulting to think you know or understand an entire nation of people that is as diverse as America, just because you disagree with its current President or policies (which the majority of Americans do as well).

ESPECIALLY considering that 90% (or more) of you haven't even VISITED, let alone lived in, America in your lives, and that everything you think you know about it is from biased news sources, crappy movies, or herd mentality. o_O

BTW: America isn't a continent. NORTH AMERICA is a continent - and by your broad generalization, you've just branded the people of Canada and Mexico as being stupid as well. :|

Re: CSS april fools

Heyyo,

I'm pretty sure they diddn't mean to include us Canadians, we're too nice to just be randomly flamed eh? :)

And it was just a joke, they diddn't mean it personally man. C'mon, we all make fun of eachother's homelands.

I have a theory for comedy.. to make someone happy? you have to make another one sad.. yeah, I should work on the wording, but that's pretty much the just of it. Just like soo much else in life though? there is a balance in comedy. You see, their joke aboot america was funny, but it pissed you off eh?

I've lived in the States, and I must say, I love Cali. Was born in Burbank, and once I save up some cash I'm probably moving back to Burbank.

Imo, Cali's the best state in the USA. Lots of nice people, good weather, and having Arnorld schwarzenegger as the Govenor? now that just pwns. :D

So yeah, for all you guys who actually hate the states in general? come to Cali, I'm sure you'll realize there's just a chunk of bad people, cause there are indeed a lot of good people in the States.

Actually, I doupt theres one single country that doesn't have its share of good and bad people. Life on earth is aboot balance afterall. ;)

Re: CSS april fools

I'm not offended, just making a point about the general "ambiance" of BU somedays, which is a MULTI-national group: yes, there are some of us EVILE Americans among you!!. ;) 9_9 :P :D

Re: CSS april fools

I guess everybody agrees with you Maleficus, that you cannot generalize a whole country by a few words. and I doubt that it was meant seriously, just take a look at the kangaroo post.

it's sometimes just funny to point at certain things, e.g. that in certain countries >1/3 of the population think, that hitler is still in power. that's just ridiculous, but shouldnt be meant as an insult, this is meant as a joke, and every joke contains a bit of truth.

anyway, you might be right, that you won't find a lot of ppl regulary posting here, supporting the war in iraq and other big political issues the last few years. but it is known that even the american ppl havnt been by far pro this war 100%, as well as there shall be ppl in germany e.g. supporting that position. but this doesnt mean that someone hates the united states, nor mexico, nor canada to come back to that 'continent' issue where I assume that nova knows the real facts, but this is an often used generalization as well.

Re: CSS april fools

Quote:

Originally Posted by aspirin

it's sometimes just funny to point at certain things, e.g. that in certain countries >1/3 of the population think, that hitler is still in power

o_O care to say where you took that from ?

Re: CSS april fools

I know one shouldnt post stuff without reference ( thx to aux ) ... that wasnt the US btw :)

Re: CSS april fools

As long as one has the ability to think they are not stupid.

They might be gullible, but not stupid.

Re: CSS april fools

lol, i fired up steam on the third and read the announcement.. all i could say was WTF.. i completly ignored the date on the top (whoops).. But still, i didn't believe it to be true, i mean.. adding EVERYTHING THE COMMUNITY HATED really wouldn't be a good patch now.. would it?