Lol, my parents do live near there. But England in general, good sandwich filling is hard to find -I dislike those paste things, am fed up with cheese and I found out last night that clotted-cream-and-marmalade is not a good combination.
The cured meat is bloody expensive and usually from France/Spain (it smells, even if it does taste good) or Denmark/Germany (garlic!). The British stuff is nice enough, (roast ham, turkey, etc.) but still too expensive.
In Holland the stuff is cheap, readily available and comes with much more variety in larger packets. You could get very nice sliced ham too. Albert Heinz stocks a very nice "Ardennes" variety packet iirc.

Compared to England it is so cheap.
And there are some drunking louts outside singing very loudly. (I'm on the 5th floor for godssake!) Bloody football team probably. If I was in the kitchen I would throw water on them.