Why Nerds are Unpopular

[Zacker]

I came to think about this article when I read the other thread about Columbine.

This article is written by Paul Graham and you should really take the time to read it, it's worth it.
http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html

This guy also got some other nice articles on his site and has also published a book or two, so check it out

[Exilibur]

Very nice article indeed.

I think he tends to generelize, but this article is far too long to critize it without a tremendeous effort, so I
m just gonna leave it with some general comments...

I don't belive being nerd is that much easier in real life. Being a writer, he is in a position where he works alone, and thus avoids a social hierachy, but that's not the rule generally, and to think grown ups don't pick on each other would be naive. (he actually stresses this, although i don't think he follows the point up)

Another comment is that I being a nerd doesn't really have any trouble interacting in a social hierachy. He is very black/white when it comes to this, and i don't think the two things are as directly related. I've seen a lot of smart and popular guys. And although my schooltime hasn't been easy all the time (i've been pretty geeky at times) that hasn't meant that i haven't been able to interact with other people... I don't think it's a problem with smartness as much as it is a problem with shyness (or ability to behave in social situations), and i feel like he is confusing those two things.

[Denny]

I agree with Exilibur in that smart guys can be popular too it just depends on how willing they are to make themselves socially interactive with other people. I myself have been labeled a "Nerd" (mainly because i get good grades and i just so happen to wear glasses because of my terrible cataracts) but i usually never had any trouble having friends and being fairly popular. I just think that whole Nerd, Geek, Dweeb thing is just a social stereotype that some people pass down on other's because they have self-esteem issues they haven't made themselves aware of yet because it makes them feel thier superior. Personally, those are the friends you don't want anyway. But that's just my whole perspective on that.

[TruB]

nice reading..

i guess i was one of the popular guys.. but i always looked at me like nerd..

but wi didnt have that kind of groups.. its like he says.. its like that in th e US.. what we did have was girl groups.. and groups based on what class you went to.. same gruop of people nerds or not.. i knew them all..i talked to most.. liked most..

[stefanhendriks]

I think i was a 'nerd' mostly because i was my personal self. And i expressed myself as a person, not as a group. I stand for my own opinion, all the time. You don't make yourself popular when you say that you dont want to wear Nike's because everybody wears them... or when you say you find them ugly shoes... for instance.

I had a nice college about this sort of behaviour. The teacher defined 2 ways:

A) You give up your own personality and become a person of the group. You take over the group behaviour. And be accepted
B) You stand for your personality, your own behaviour. Having a hard time being accepted. Or not accepted at all.

I am a typical B person.

Basicly i say: If you laugh about me, weather in a positive or negative way. I am glad. Because i make someone smile. And all i had to do, is be myself. If you make such a fuzz about me and my behaviour. I am also glad, it means you are thinking about me, being busy about me. And i do what i always do. Being myself.

I've had a few beat ups. I've scars in my past and in my soul. But in the end, i am who i am, and no-body will take that from me.

[Pierre-Marie Baty]

what Exilibur said.

[Cpl. Shrike]

I think european kids are less subject to this as he describes in US schools.
And i don't think it is so at every US school.
But i can surly recognize what he speaks of while it wasen't that layed on thick in our shool but there where actually groups of different types of people.
There was "popular" group who did indeed every thing for fashion like wearing nikes and popular brands. And there was this study group while they didn't got picked upon as bad as described (i think it wasen't the case but then again i wasen't in the study group so the bulling might have had heavier impact on them as others might think). There where also a few who where on them selfs like stefan describes.
Me and a few friends where in the so called "freak" group. doing bad ass stuff and smoking pot. But our group was also very popular as we where bad ass mofo's.
But to get back at the article. It has to written a bit black and white it's very hard to describe the cases if you also describe all the grey area's if one does that the article looks like everything is in order and no such groups exist at all. And form what i heard and read and seen is that in the US everything is much more competative. In that environment it's much more likely for "dumber" popular people to from a group to mok the geeks.
As for real life after school yes more and more of both type groups get mingled and it doesn't stand out so much. And the popular ppl don't pester geeks is that they realize they need the geeks. And the peopl lose the school groups they where in and it is much harder to find/form a new group based on bulling. later in life the groups will form around other things mostly social class or religion etc etc things that count more in real life.
And so the bulling continues but between other types of groups.

[von Ryan]

That article is so true.
I think pretty much everything has been said. It's the same thing here in Brazil, although I don't think it is as bad as the situation in the US. I am a nerd, I do admit that, but I should stress that I'm not as introspective as the examples he puts in the article. I think that from now on I'll have to focus on the fact that I'm "playing a game that is much closer to the real life". School is a disgusting place, period. I don't think you can argue with that. I doesn't matter how much control you exercise, there will always be underground bullying and harassing. I do consider myself harassed -- I don't consider kicking a soccer ball on me a fun game, even if I get the chance to kick back.
I am a conscient system victim, but my sole efforts are too little to change it. The best I can do is turn my back on them.

[Leagle]

Take up a martial art. Preferably one that focuses on situations and attacks than merely hitting things.

[HangFire]

Like its been said, it varies from school to school. I was a nerd, and very intrinsic, but for some odd reason I was very popular in my class. Outside my class, not so much, but then I knew only about 5 people who weren't in my grade.

But then I don't know. It was a small rural school, only 16 people in my class. If I went to a large school, I probably would have been another outcast and tormented by the "popular" kids.