most funny spam you ever got

I got this one about a week after the invasion of Iraq:

From: Mr. Ali Hassan Al-Majid Jr. [ali_02@epatra.com]
This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have not met. The message could be strange but real, if you pay some attention to it. I could have notified you about it at least for the sake of your integrity.Please accept my apologies.In bringing this message of goodwill to you, I have to say that I have no intention of causing you any pain.


I am Mr. Ali Hassan Al-Majid Jr., son of the Ali Hassan Al-Majid "Chemical Ali" the cousin to Saddam Hussein of Iraq, whom there is wide spread speculation by the foreign media especially was killed due to bomb attack on his house. I managed to get your contact details through the internet myself. Time is of importance and I was desperately looking for a person to assist me in this confidential business. My father before the commencement of the war in Iraq had to move all his valuables such as cash and precious materials worth Hundreds of Millions of US Dollars to a security company’s vault in one of the European countries.

All documents pertaining to release of these valuables are in my name and in my possession. Before you can get access to it I have to give you the necessary documents, the password to the vault, to allow you to the vault. I am therefore soliciting your help to represent us to receive this money and transfer in bits into your account before the next government gets wind of the funds. You know my father was a stout member of the Iraqi govt. before his death.My reason for doing this is because it will be difficult for the next government to trace my father's money to an individual's account that has no relationship with the family.





I am currently and temporarily living in Iran and as refugee status, I intend to communicate with you via the internet and telephone but my access to communication facilities at this point is restricted.

Moreover, the political climate in Iran at the moment being so sensitive and tensed because of war in Iraq. When you are ready I will give you the information needed before you can get access to the 2kg of AU gold, 85g of pure Diamond and raw cash of USD50 Million America dollars.



PLEASE YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSACTION IS HIGHLY REQUIRED.

Amazingly, the retarded camel####er who sent me this actually expected me to a. believe this bullcrap, and b. actually give a crap about helping Chemical Ali and his misbegotten brood of camel-ass####ing brats.

[Pierre-Marie Baty]

Good old African scam expatiates... globalization, man, globalization

[botmeister]

My father before the commencement of the war in Iraq had to move all his valuables such as cash and precious materials worth Hundreds of Millions of US Dollars to a security company’s vault in one of the European countries.

LOL I'm only interested in your fathers WMD, sorry not interested. Oh, and the US dollar is now almost worthless, so again, not interested.

The spam that get's through my ISP's spam filter are using the most funny techniques to fool the filter. They leet speak or misspell all the words the spam filter looks for, and they add in phrases of nonsense using legitimate words as the means to fool the filters statistical scoring method.

Look at this latest one:

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[-=RAV=-AdrianShephard]

i got one from bin laden saying to take arms against the country. dumb ass camel jockeys

[Pierre-Marie Baty]

MFAO I TAKE OVER THIS CONTEST!!!

I've FOUND the BEST ONE, JUST LOOK!!

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Hint here



Drsop me

7. Choose your duck carefully. It is easy to confuse ducks with geese because many water birds look alike. While they are very competent instrument flyers, geese seldom want to go in the same direction as you.
Betsy, it should be emphasized that the kind of love existing in our relationship is void of fantasy or a whirlwind romance. If you don't know, my love for you isn't the comparative analysis of "M&B" stories or any other fictional romance. But this is the love that is enveloped with the seal of reality without any shadow of doubt.
And of course that was the last line of the rhyme.
kouryous3monou02ojoku,odakyuu houreino.

Unbelievable, isn't it ?

The contest is still running ! But doing better than this one will be REALLY HARD!!!

Sweeper strikes again, I got myself a spam mail accaunt, lets see what has arrived today at Helldog@mail.com

Welcome helldog@mail.com
You have 112 Message(s) in your Inbox:
111 Unread Message(s),document.write(recent_msg); 111 New Message(s). Welcome helldog@mail.com
document.write(recent_msg);
now lets see what we can find

Hmmm, most of them use pictures, not text, too bad, I got lots of mails on aging, health and drugs...
Probably not the best, but good enough, mixed crap from Major Coker...

Our US Licensed Doctors will
Prescribes Your Medication For Free Medications Shipped Overnight To Your Door.
Phentermine, Adipex Soma, Fioriicet, Ulltram,
, Viagra, and many, many others.
Meds for: Weight Loss, Pain Relief, MusclePain Relief, Women's Health, Men's
Health, Impotence, Allergy Relief, Heartburn Relief, Migraine Relief & MORE
Upon Approval show Me more

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I'll give them 6 for language, best English ever, look how it all hangs together
That was the best one, except the offer on Windows XP Professional 2002 for 100$... LOL.
Well, keep in mind, GameSpy is great for selling your email out to spammers.

[Pierre-Marie Baty]

Ah, but mine was more poetic, let me quote it again:

Betsy, it should be emphasized that the kind of love existing in our relationship is void of fantasy or a whirlwind romance. If you don't know, my love for you isn't the comparative analysis of "M&B" stories or any other fictional romance. But this is the love that is enveloped with the seal of reality without any shadow of doubt.
And of course that was the last line of the rhyme.

you simply can't do better than that

[Pierre-Marie Baty]

I'm going to party tonight...

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providing protection from the "morning after" symptoms
experienced after prolonged or excessive alcohol consumption.
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If taken as directed, Uncle Rummie's Hangover Helper completely
eleminates unpleasant side effects such as headache,
nausea and dehydration.
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(reported to SpamCop)

...oh thank you soooo much, Uncle Rummie!!!

[@$3.1415rin]

just got this one :

Return-Path: <*>
X-Flags: 0000
Delivered-To: GMX delivery to *
Received: (qmail 8739 invoked by uid 65534); 17 May 2004 19:16:50 -0000
Received: from pD95F0582.dip.t-dialin.net (HELO johannes.net) (217.95.5.130) by mx0.gmx.net (mx011) with SMTP; 17 May 2004 21:16:50 +0200
Date: Mon, 17 May 2004 18:32:55 GMT
Subject: Ich habe mich in dich verliebt!
Importance: Normal
X-Priority: 3 (Normal)
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/mixed; boundary="====3ca1b5c0b090bc1d1.f7a1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-GMX-Antivirus: -1 (not scanned, may not use virus scanner)
X-GMX-Antispam: 0 (Mail was not recognized as spam)




Ja, leider kann ich es nicht ändern aber es ist so.
Wenn Du genauso fühlst, dann schau dir bitte den Anhang an.

Wenn nicht, dann lösche ungeöffnet diese Mail! Es wäre mir sonst zu peinlich .....

this mail tells me that the 'sender' loves me ... and both email adresses are mine ... well, that's funny, I didnt knew I'm writing short loveletters to me

€: I removed my email adresses so they are not in even more caches of users with nice little virusses on their hd

[Pierre-Marie Baty]

rofl, it's always a pleasure to receive love letters from someone you like